"Rahul! I cannot live in your mother's bondage, I want a separate house where I can breathe freely." on seeing Rahul, Pallavi screamed. It was just that Kishore Ji had seen Rahul and Pallavi going to the party, and asked them to return home early by 10 p.m. But this was not the first time, Pallavi was fed up with all these restrictions.
After few days Pallavi visited her friend's house for the Kitty party, she asked Kiran to find a house for her.
Kiran asked- what's the matter Pallavi, why you need a house?
Pallavi replied, "Kiran! I do not like to live in slavery and in a restricted environment at the behest of my in-laws"
Kiran protested -"Pallavi! You know what one day like you. I too got separated from my mother-in-law".
That's why you are free, Pallavi said it mockingly.
When Pallavi said in a tweet, the tone of Kiran was filled with sadness, Kiran was five years older than Pallavi.
Pallavi continued adamantly, "Achha, tell me if you were living with your in-laws, would you be able to freely move around in your choice of clothes or your beloved shorts?
Would you be able to skip making dinner and order food from outside so often?
Would you be able to attend late-night parties sometimes?
Would you be able to sleep till late on weekends?
Would you be able to chill with your legs on your couch watching your favorite series and sipping a hot cup of coffee?"
I know all such things may not be verbally imposed on a daughter-in-law, but all of this goes without saying and is implied by default. I am not at all ready to carry on such pressures and live a life-changing plunge of living".
Kiran was totally baffled and didn't know what to say, yet she managed and said- Yes, of course, there are some restrictions when you stay with your in-laws, but you are looking only one side of the story.
But the truth lies somewhere between, since then I have become a slave, which I considered to be slavery, in fact, it was freedom.
How come? Pallavi asked!
When I was in my in-laws house, I never bothered who has come, who hasn't come, as I was the daughter-in-law, I never opened the door. Both the children were taken good care of, by their grandparents. I was never restricted to go anywhere.
My mother-in-law always helped me in all the household chores, which has become a burden now.
Although there were some rules to be followed, which were actually right, but in the excitement of youth, borderline was not wanted.
I didn't even like that my husband after coming from the office directly go and see his mother first.
So, then Pallavi's eagerness increased.
I refused Shitij in every way, he was not ready to part ways for good, as he knew that his parents were his prior responsibility but I forcefully took him to a different house as living with them 24/7 was impossible for me, as I wanted to enjoy our lives together at our own whims and fancies, without any supervision all the time- said Kiran.
Then- Pallavi asked?
Then what, I was enslaved to the doorbell, maid, children, laundry, grocery, Shitij all the time.
I was restricted to go out on my own, as their homework, exams, and sometimes their health was the issue. The children cannot be carried everywhere, even cannot be left alone. I hardly remember when was the last time, we hung out with our friends, no parties, no celebrations, no We-time, as all these was easy going when we were with in-laws. Expenses aside, Shitij is no longer happy, Kiran's eyes become moist.
Then why didn't you go back? asked Pallavi.
How could we, it was such an embarrassing situation for us, Shitij once told to his parents, but his father denied, saying," Once we have handled ourselves with great difficulty, now we are not ready to bear the second jerk, you should stay there now where you are."
Oh! Pallavi sighs.
Pallavi! It's very easy to step out of the house, but as long as you live in the shelter of the parents, you don't even feel a little bit of the outside pats, more freedom you enjoy when you stay with the parents, but we don't like it. Once you are separated, you come to know that in the name of freedom, you have put chains in your feet.
As I am elder than you, and based on my own experiences, I would suggest you- never take this step without proper thinking and understanding, as I am the sufferer in front of you.
Kiran's words had hit Pallavi hard, and her thoughts kept conflicting. She couldn't get her heart and mind in harmony. Her heartfelt- she didn't want slavery-like Kiran. She was mumbling with the moving steps towards the house. She decided as soon as she will reach home she will take the blessings of her in-laws by touching their feet and will apologize for all the blunders she had done and will always stay with them.
*****
Numerous couples live with their in-laws out of force. I hope my article shed some light on those in distress and relieve you of the pain. Moving away from your parents is viewed as being immoral, a means to escape the responsibility of the aging parents. But expectations are too high, that it seems difficult to maintain a healthy relationship for both the sides involved, and the major sufferer is the son, he is unhappy due to the constant bickering and expectation to take sides. Pallavi was right to some extent, that how much cool in-laws one have, there are always self-imposed limits one needs to follow. Moreover, the way of living has to be altered drastically. But again, a big question is that- "Are these things big enough reasons to justify separating a son from his parents?"
Actually, it would be unfair to blame anybody, either the in-laws or the girl, it's better to always prefer grey rather than black or white.
Lastly, I would say "Parents are not kept together, Parents are to live with."
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