Perfectionist mother:
A perfectionist mother has no middle ground, either she has achieved perfection or utter failures. Mothers who strive for perfection, ironically do their children more harm than good. Mothers who cannot tolerate their imperfections cannot tolerate their children either. Perfectionist is not about holding high standards it's about a race where mothers are running to give their children a wonderful life and when they fail to attain it, are mercilessly hard on themselves. A perfectionist mother is a woman who is hypocritical and emotionally vacant. She is filled with anxiety and fear but can do anything to appear perfect. She leads a well-organized life and has a strong sense of right or wrong.
The Children of these kinds of mothers are hardworking as well as persistent but are often judged by others. The opinions of others have more importance in their lives than their own beliefs.
Scene-- A mother running to the grocery store for a gallon of milk -usually a five-minute trip, but her kid accompanying her throws a world-record tantrum as they reached the store.
Mother's response- After looking around, She says- "You have to behave like a proper child, don't embarrass me. All are staring at us, if u continue to whine and cry will drop you here only. I don't care what is your requirement, stop acting this way next time I won't bring u along anyway.
Appropriate response-" I know baby that you need your favorite snacks, but we already have lots of stuff at home, what all daddy bought for you is of your choice only, sooner we reach I can provide you. Now please be a good baby and stop crying."
If we are not ready to understand what the problem is, how we will solve it. In the above scene, the mother was not ready to buy anything for her kid as she does not want to spend an extra penny, it's not an issue it's our duty to make kids understand in another way around. We should know how to divert our kids more pleasingly.
Unpredictable mother:
An unpredictable mother is emotionally unstable. The parenting style of an unpredictable mother is purely based on moods and emotions. Her reactions depends on her current mental state.
The children of these kinds of mothers are often great motivators, provide great emotional support to others, and can be empathic. But they often find difficulty in understanding reality, as much of the problems which they got as a legacy from their mothers doesn't exist in reality.
Scene- A child's first day at school. After returning from school, he/she wanted to share the experience of the first day at school and was excited to tell all the stories and was expecting that Mom will listen and encourage.
Mother's response- After work, I had a terrible day my child. As well as a lot of household work is pending please let me finish. Oh! I forgot to give medicine to your sister, your daddy is waiting for snacks let me serve him. Wait, honey! I will listen to you later.
Appropriate response- I know honey today was your first day, I noticed that you are very happy and excited to share something. Please give me some time will listen to all your stories with a cup of coffee together.
Instead of addressing all your problems, you can make your child feel equally important this will not detach your child for the next time and he/she will always eagerly share each and everything with you. As they feel comfortable and assured that someone is there to listen to them.
Best friend mother:
This mom is an easy-going, gentle and very supportive. She is just like a friend to her child and there is no relational conflict. In this situation, the child is feeling motherless and they share all emotions and secrets with each other. Sometimes this may have the wrong impact on kids they may feel unloved or rejected. A mother should also know how to discipline her child along with being friendly. Despite all the kids can develop strong relations and assume leadership roles.
Scene- When someone bullied your child or he had a fight with someone in school, he gave a strong punch in return which somehow turned into a serious injury to the other child.
Mother's response- You tell me, son, what happened exactly? After hearing, You did the right thing, I would have done the same way. Always believe in Tit for Tat. Let school authorities call me I will deal with them. You don't bother.
Appropriate response- Tell me what happened in detail, my child. This is not the correct way to deal with your friend although he did wrong but we could have dealt it appropriately. We could have informed school authorities about bullying as well as parents about their child's behavior. The school is the one to take strict actions against such acts.
Although we are aware of the concerned behavior of a mother, she should know how to discipline as well as support her child in the correct manner so as the child is not repeating the same mischief in the future. Even though the mistake may be on the other side, but a child should know the difference between right and wrong.
Me-first mother:
Me-first mothers are self-centered mothers unable to view their children as separate individuals. This is usually the result of insecurities. They always want their children to learn since the beginning about making and keeping mother as the center of attention and recognition and always supposed to shine.
The children of these kinds of mothers are never confident and always doubt their capabilities and are not ready to make any decisions on their own. However, they would be more talented, supportive, and loyal.
Scene- You asked your child to keep his/her things at the right place. However, your child is not ready but he does and says Why I only have to do all this?
Mother's response- Who will do instead? It's your work to keep things back after use. I do so much for you and you can't even do this much work of yours. You should be grateful to me always.
Appropriate response- My child I know you are tired but even I need help and in that case, we can finish our work early and can spend time together. You should also learn to be responsible. Thank you for understanding, listening, and obeying.
Although we know our kids are dependent on us but we should make them responsible at the same time. You should not take all the credit of his/her hard efforts and try to appreciate even for the small achievements and treat them as an individual so that they can make their own choices correctly. You teach your kids with your efforts but you forget that they have also put their efforts, after seeing their rubrics or academic records, you are the one to symbolize that I made u achieve the good result you should be thankful. Instead don't focus on your efforts otherwise your child would never be independent.
Complete mother:
The complete mother is a perfect blend of all four styles. She is balanced and healthily expresses her emotions. She is warm, empathetic. She sacrifices so that her children feel loved and served. She is self-assured and goal-oriented. She helps her children to tackle a wide range of opportunities and balance her ambition as well. She treats her children as individual personalities and give space for their creativity. She is a researcher, thinker, and inventor. She is very loyal to her children and friendly too. She is very adventurous and loves to play with kids enthusiastically. She is a protector and encourages her children to take on big challenges. She provides a stable home and is the support of her family.
The children of these kinds of mothers are fully confident. They embrace life without fear, accept others, and engage in healthy relationships.
BEYOND THE POINT, It's the job of a mother to not only guide and protect her children, but also to be a foundation for them. All she needs to do experiments on her child to see what works best for him/her. Every child has a different behavior and knowledge. To be frank, two kids of the same mother/parents are not identical. All skills/tricks are fundamentally different of a mother to raise her both kids. Each child comes into the world with a blank slate. We as parents need to train them to act of kindness, humanity, and all life skills, all other skills they will learn themselves. We are here to guide them so that they can bring their best to the world. Although they are an extension of our being but this does not mean that we have the right to impose all our insecurities and imperfections on them and ask them to juggle on their part and make us shine. The real responsibility is to raise our kids as a good human being. We must be open to learn from our kids as well.
Have you really judged yourself what kind of mother are you?
We can easily tell our opinion about others, all the judgemental facts would be inline. But have you ever thought about yourself? If you are satisfied with your motherhood journey then this is a state of bliss. But if anywhere, you find you need a change then step up and surely one day you will be a mother you desire.
Scene- A child's first day at school. After returning from school, he/she wanted to share the experience of the first day at school and was excited to tell all the stories and was expecting that Mom will listen and encourage.
Mother's response- After work, I had a terrible day my child. As well as a lot of household work is pending please let me finish. Oh! I forgot to give medicine to your sister, your daddy is waiting for snacks let me serve him. Wait, honey! I will listen to you later.
Appropriate response- I know honey today was your first day, I noticed that you are very happy and excited to share something. Please give me some time will listen to all your stories with a cup of coffee together.
Instead of addressing all your problems, you can make your child feel equally important this will not detach your child for the next time and he/she will always eagerly share each and everything with you. As they feel comfortable and assured that someone is there to listen to them.
Best friend mother:
This mom is an easy-going, gentle and very supportive. She is just like a friend to her child and there is no relational conflict. In this situation, the child is feeling motherless and they share all emotions and secrets with each other. Sometimes this may have the wrong impact on kids they may feel unloved or rejected. A mother should also know how to discipline her child along with being friendly. Despite all the kids can develop strong relations and assume leadership roles.
Scene- When someone bullied your child or he had a fight with someone in school, he gave a strong punch in return which somehow turned into a serious injury to the other child.
Mother's response- You tell me, son, what happened exactly? After hearing, You did the right thing, I would have done the same way. Always believe in Tit for Tat. Let school authorities call me I will deal with them. You don't bother.
Appropriate response- Tell me what happened in detail, my child. This is not the correct way to deal with your friend although he did wrong but we could have dealt it appropriately. We could have informed school authorities about bullying as well as parents about their child's behavior. The school is the one to take strict actions against such acts.
Although we are aware of the concerned behavior of a mother, she should know how to discipline as well as support her child in the correct manner so as the child is not repeating the same mischief in the future. Even though the mistake may be on the other side, but a child should know the difference between right and wrong.
Me-first mother:
Me-first mothers are self-centered mothers unable to view their children as separate individuals. This is usually the result of insecurities. They always want their children to learn since the beginning about making and keeping mother as the center of attention and recognition and always supposed to shine.
The children of these kinds of mothers are never confident and always doubt their capabilities and are not ready to make any decisions on their own. However, they would be more talented, supportive, and loyal.
Scene- You asked your child to keep his/her things at the right place. However, your child is not ready but he does and says Why I only have to do all this?
Mother's response- Who will do instead? It's your work to keep things back after use. I do so much for you and you can't even do this much work of yours. You should be grateful to me always.
Appropriate response- My child I know you are tired but even I need help and in that case, we can finish our work early and can spend time together. You should also learn to be responsible. Thank you for understanding, listening, and obeying.
Although we know our kids are dependent on us but we should make them responsible at the same time. You should not take all the credit of his/her hard efforts and try to appreciate even for the small achievements and treat them as an individual so that they can make their own choices correctly. You teach your kids with your efforts but you forget that they have also put their efforts, after seeing their rubrics or academic records, you are the one to symbolize that I made u achieve the good result you should be thankful. Instead don't focus on your efforts otherwise your child would never be independent.
Complete mother:
The complete mother is a perfect blend of all four styles. She is balanced and healthily expresses her emotions. She is warm, empathetic. She sacrifices so that her children feel loved and served. She is self-assured and goal-oriented. She helps her children to tackle a wide range of opportunities and balance her ambition as well. She treats her children as individual personalities and give space for their creativity. She is a researcher, thinker, and inventor. She is very loyal to her children and friendly too. She is very adventurous and loves to play with kids enthusiastically. She is a protector and encourages her children to take on big challenges. She provides a stable home and is the support of her family.
The children of these kinds of mothers are fully confident. They embrace life without fear, accept others, and engage in healthy relationships.
BEYOND THE POINT, It's the job of a mother to not only guide and protect her children, but also to be a foundation for them. All she needs to do experiments on her child to see what works best for him/her. Every child has a different behavior and knowledge. To be frank, two kids of the same mother/parents are not identical. All skills/tricks are fundamentally different of a mother to raise her both kids. Each child comes into the world with a blank slate. We as parents need to train them to act of kindness, humanity, and all life skills, all other skills they will learn themselves. We are here to guide them so that they can bring their best to the world. Although they are an extension of our being but this does not mean that we have the right to impose all our insecurities and imperfections on them and ask them to juggle on their part and make us shine. The real responsibility is to raise our kids as a good human being. We must be open to learn from our kids as well.
Have you really judged yourself what kind of mother are you?
We can easily tell our opinion about others, all the judgemental facts would be inline. But have you ever thought about yourself? If you are satisfied with your motherhood journey then this is a state of bliss. But if anywhere, you find you need a change then step up and surely one day you will be a mother you desire.
No comments:
Post a Comment